We all have our beliefs about various issues. Some of them are quite strong and whenever we feel they are being challenged, we can sometimes get very heated in stating our stance. Let's face it, most of the time we are convinced we are the one that is right and we feel compelled to argue and make the other person see this is naturally the case.This need to be right is pointless, wastes precious mental energy and does not contribute anything positive to our experience. I think one way about something, you think another way. Who cares?
Is this to say that you should never engage in discussions with people who think differently than you or that you should never express your opinion? Of course not, sometimes these types of conversations can be stimulating and open up your mind. But for most people, it is very difficult to have an intelligent, thought-provoking discussion. These interactions usually consist of each person trying to convince the other, without giving any real thought to what the other is saying.
A forum for a freelance writing site I work for is constantly filled with arguments and this medium of communication really highlights this compulsive need of people to argue and prove their point as these individuals are fully capable of moving away from the site and not typing a response; it is not like a face to face encounter where it might be more difficult to disengage. The idea that these people are sitting there typing away hundreds or thousands of words -- during which I am sure there is a feeling of anger, frustration, tightness int the chest and a host of other negative sensations -- just because they feel they must weigh in and let people know what they think.
I cannot tell you how beneficial it has been to me to let go of the need to argue my point or try to point out why someone else is wrong...the sense of peace I feel when I make the conscious decision to not engage is pretty nice and I have come to value it highly. Considering the number of times you will encounter the opportunity to make this choice, it has the potential to profoundly affect your life. Do I still feel compelled to say something? Sure, sometimes I do, but more often than not, I can truly let it go.
The next time you find yourself wanting to argue a point or try to prove that you are right and the other person is wrong, I ask you to stop for a minute and really think ''What would I gain from this experience?'" Will it contribute to anything positive? Will it make you feel truly good or just that negative-energy type good we feel when we think we have won an argument or put someone in their place. Developing more awareness of how the things we say and do impact our lives and what we gain from them will help us see that so many things we concern ourselves with are a true detriment to our well-being.
P.S. People often ask me what types of materials I have used to get where I am today and develop my mindset. Well, there have been a lot, but Bob Doyle's program was really the clincher for me. With no exaggeration, it literally changed my life
Learn more about the program that finally got my butt in gear: Click Here