Often times, we pay way too much mind to other people’s thoughts, opinions and beliefs when it comes to making decisions about our own life. It is understandable why this happens. It is only human to have doubts about our beliefs and choices. We take in a lot of information throughout our lives that outlines what our lives are ‘’supposed’’ to be like and what we ‘’should’’ want. Though these ideas are often quite arbitrary and are the results of someone else’s thinking, they can have quite a grip on us. We often see things in terms of right or wrong when that is not what is going on at all. We think if we are not following the standard life script, we are off in some way, that we are denying the inevitable and we should just submit already.
Often times we seek out the opinions and suggestions of others for guidance. Now, I will not make a blanket statement saying that you should never, ever do this because there are times when this may actually be beneficial. What I will say with confidence, however, is that a majority of the time, it is not going to be and you should refrain from doing this. There are no set guidelines but you will know what a certain situation calls for. If you see someone already living the life you want, by all means, talk to them. If you are thinking about doing something totally unconventional or bold, seeking guidance from your play-it-safe parents who value security over anything else ,and who want nothing more than to see you with a mortgage, spouse and a couple of kids is probably a bad idea
Most people operate with a framework of very limited thinking and they expect little out of life. If you bounce an idea off of them, they will likely go to all the reasons why it will not work, why you cannot do it. I think most of the time they mean well, but regardless of the intention, the end result of discouraging you and making your doubt yourself is the same. You will begin to question yourself and you will wonder if they are right and you are wrong. You will think they know better.
No one knows you better than yourself and if you are constantly looking for outside input about your life, it will likely keep you off the path you really want to be on. We all operate with our own filters and they are very unique to us and often times, these filters will not match up with yours.
You want what you want for a reason, because it fulfills something within you. Our wants and desires are unique and just because other people would never do what you would do or have no desire for the things you desire does not mean that you should not want those things either. Really think about what you want out of your life and block out the criticisms and judgments you receive from other people. No one knows better than you what you want out of life and if you feel good doing the things you are doing, that is all that matters. If you can only move forward after getting the seal of approval from someone else, you are going to end up living someone else’s life.